Poem for 2020

Here at Clarke Immigration Law, we try to have fun while we are working hard for our clients. For our end of year party, my colleague Kieran Szuchewycz wrote the following poem and he has graciously allowed us to publish this on our website. Enjoy!

In fourteen hundred ninety two

Columbus sailed the ocean blue

In two thousand and twenty he came once more

And landed north on Canadian shores

And as he stepped off his Iberian plane

With a thunderous voice he did proclaim

“This land now belongs to the king of Spain”


But a lot has changed in 500 years

Empires have crumbled and new borders appeared

And while jet wings are faster than sails

IRCC processing times would frustrate a snail

And unbeknownst to Columbus

A flag stuck in the sand

Would not grant him entry

Into this, most exotic of lands


So as Columbus kneeled down

Thanking god for safe journey

In rushed Minister Marco Mendicino

Dragging him off in a hurry


He seized his compass, pistol and feather plumbed hat

Unplanted Spain’s flag from the damaged tarmac

“Resist and I’ll give you a zap in the back!”

“But I’m Columbus” he cried, “and that is a fact”


The Minister hesitated,

“Alright then Columbus please explain the purpose of your stay

And show me some ID or I’ll send you away”


“Well” said the explorer

“I don’t have any passport per se

But that shouldn’t really cause any delay

Why make a big deal I’m already here anyway

Plus I’ll probably head home in a couple of days”


Minister Mendicino barked

“That’s hullaballoo

I’m the border’s bulldog and you ain’t getting through,

I’m only going to ask once more so stay true

Why did you come to Canada?

Tell me what will you to do?”


Columbus, now shaken, answered carefully

“Well I fell in love with a woman in Canada see

We’ll soon be engaged and then be married

So we must to be reunited under IRPA section 3(d)

In addition to that please refer to section 3 (g)

Because, I’ll be enrolling as a student at the U of T,

And, did I mention I’ve already earned a prestigious degree?

Once it’s translated I’m sure you’ll agree

That my skills are well suited for the work as it be

In this land of the true north strong and free”


“And please consider the strife on my native soil

Where the people know nothing but sorrow and toil

The police never act without a bribe in their hand

And my beliefs, my opinions have been unjustly banned

Why, against a cruel tyrant I took a brave stand

And I’ve risked everything to reach this O Promised Land”


“And if that’s not enough I’ve got money to spend

I’ll be investing millions in a business

On which countless Canadian jobs will depend

So all of that combined with my lovely lady friend

Surely my entry to Canada you will personally recommend”


The Minister took notes of what Columbus had said,

Then delivered his decision whilst shaking his head,


“Listen close you so-called explorer

I will never let you cross this damn border

Are you unable to understand the nature of these proceedings?

Or are you misrepresenting facts and being purposefully misleading?

You’re a burden, a risk, your refugee claims are dismissible

Reviewing these facts I find you inadmissible


So friends,


The lesson of this story is plain to see

Expect a fierce storm of questions at your port of entry

It’s forced more to turn back than bad weather at sea

So have your forms filled and your responses ready

And should this tempest surpass your best preparation

You need only reach out for a hand from Clarke Immigration